Did I miss something? What cycle is that for?

Once upon a Saturday, I got it into my head that time was up and my room needed to be clean immediately. As the story goes, if you give a mouse a cookie, then, he's going to want some milk. It's a never-ending cycle. So, if you give a Tk the idea she needs a clean room, then, she's going to want to do laundry.

I usually don't do laundry on the weekends because the laundromat that I prefer to go to is more crowded than McCarthy's on St. Patty's day over the weekend. I don't know what had gotten into me (maybe it was the plague) but I decided to go even though it was clearly a Saturday.

There is always something enjoyable about doing your laundry in a public place. Under the normal guidelines of my personality, I should in no way be ok with doing my laundry in public, but I think the joy I take away from the experience far outweighs any stage fright I feel when faced with the idea of my undisclosed undergarments floating round-and-round in a glass-faced dryer for the world to see. This Saturday was no exception.

I arrived at the laundromat to find that it was completely packed, and not one laundry cart was free. I tossed my laundry sack on my back like the worst Santa Claus impersonator you've ever seen, and lugged it into the place. Next step: finding free washers. After this was settled and my laundry was washing, I had a chance to look around a bit. This older woman who had been there since I walked in the door caught my eye.

There was just something strange about her. Maybe it was her brightly colored mumu and rubber shoes. Could it be the way she was making an inconsistant circuit around the room while pouring cheetos and figs from their respective bags directly into her mouth? Or maybe it was the odd smell emanating from her person. Sort of a mix of cantaloupe and rubbing alcohol. I just couldn't place it. I notice she's obsessively checking her clothing in a corner dryer, more than once every two or three minutes, and then completing another circuit around the room, switching out her bag of cheetos for the figs, or vice-versa, each time. Not until later did I figure out what was going on here. After every dryness check, she was walking back around the room and sanitizing her hands while switching snacks.

Apparently, I missed a day of home economics. The day when they explain to you that the hand sanitizer cycle comes directly before spin, and right after rinse. All this time, my laundry has NOT been sanitary enough. I'll have to buy myself an industrial size hand sanitizer for my next trip to the L-mat.

Later on I learned something from the dryer as well. I have been so careless in my laundry endeavors. Thank the gods for these ever-so-usefull instructions.

I don't know about everyone else, but I doubt I've been making a thorough enough check for children, pets, and illegally immigrated objects BEFORE loading the dryer. I mean, when it's completely empty like that, there's a good chance I'd never see a child, or pet, or crepe hiding in there!!

And finally, on my way to drop off Becca at Aaron's house tonight, my car became the victim of an act of random canine violence.

That's right. A dog. A dog hit my car. He ran right into me at a stop sign. I was barely even moving and BLAMO. I can not be held responsible for the actions of careless animals. Dogs, chipmunks, pandas, squirrels, owls... If you're going to make an effort to toss your carcass under my tires, I'm not going to make an effort to miss you. That is all.

Currently listening: Future Perfect By Autolux Release date: 26 October, 2004

Where do I start, where do I begin?

So lucky. I feel so lucky right now. So many things seem to have found their place in my life. Everything is falling in line and I can't even imagine how it's really all possible. Yet here I sit. I'm currently at peace and enjoying what I believe to be one of the worlds most perfect vistas. The Pacific at sunset.

What's with my addiction lately, you ask? To tell you the truth, I'm not 100% positive. These past two days (really these past two weeks but even more these past two days) I've felt more alive than I remember feeling in so many years. It's like this fire inside me that I thought was extinguished has been rekindled and I'm barely able to contain the flames. Hell, I'm not so sure I want them contained. What must it be like to live every day with such fiery passion? I might need to find out. Until I do, I've resolved to allow whichever creative wildfire catches my fancy to run its course, uninhibited, and see where this takes me.

I am a wildfire
I am a flood
I am a landslide
The eye of the storm
I am the element
Element of Spirit

Currently listening: Push the Button By The Chemical Brothers Release date: 25 January, 2005

Pink Sky Top Down Drive Home

Today is Valentines Day. For years, this has meant nearly nothing to me. Just another day, albeit one with more old ladies in heart-infested sweaters and jewelry. When I woke up this morning I felt like dying. (My throat felt like I had allowed a group of angry racoons to hold a grudge-fight-cage-match to the death in there.) It's a rare day I wake up in that mindset, go to work, and come home inspired beyond anything I've felt in years. (Work had little to do with the rampant inspiration, mind you, but if I hadn't gone, I probably would have slept the entire day away and not had the opportunity to be so inspired.) In my head I've got some new and (in concept) beautiful ideas. Only time will tell if they're strong enough to escape the confines of my mind, and then pass my ultimate test of worth. (This test will determine if anyone other than me gets to see the finished product.) Anyway, these ideas are so vivid in my mind, it shouldn't be too difficult to get them out and breathing. I intend to start now.

I had a hawt lunch date today as well. Mineca Blaff'l took me to the Crepe Cafe where we got sucked into enjoying a sinfully delicious dessert crepe. It was all raspberry and sauce and creamy deliciousness. So in the spirit of holiday crepes everywhere, Happy Valentines Day!

Also, I played a little game of Beat the Sun this evening. It was so light out when I left work that I couldn't resist the pull of the sun. I put the top down on the mistress, drove home with my hat and gloves on, music blasting (in my teeny headphones) and raced the sunset. I made it to the beach before all the color was gone from the sky, and here are my three favorite photos out of what I was able to catch. My favorite one is last. What do you think?

"All the stars and boulevards ain't close enough to you."

Currently listening: All The Stars And Boulevards By Augustana Release date: 06 September, 2005

The Straight Dope

Whenever I'm preparing to write something that spans days, I always have a difficult time deciding where to start. I'll fall back on one of my favorite quotes yet again: Begin at the beginning, and when you get to the end, stop.

This weekend. One of the best weekends on record in the cavernous file system I lovingly refer to as my mind. And why is this you ask? Well, because I spent it getting better acquainted with someone I completely adore. We had loads of fun.

Let's start with Friday. Friday night I caught some static around ground zero, packed my things and headed out for Nipas where I would find Daniel. We watched the end of some random homosexual-drug-abuse-manslaughter movie, and gradually our group increased from two to many. I gave Susie her Valentines day presents (which she so completely deserved) and then Jaz-mo and Susie went off in search of libations after many-a-hair on Susie's head was cut with razor. During their journey to Vons, I decided I wasn't feeling the get-drunk vibe (nor the get-thiz vibe) discussed my disinterest (and alternate interests) with... my interest... and headed out on a road trip southward. After nearly 3 hours of driving and one pit stop in Oxnard, (mmm rice krispie treats and terrible gas station coffee) I arrived at my destination. The great (or so I've heard and am being led to believe) City of Angels.

Now keep in mind that to this point, yours truly had never had a good experience in LA. (Not that I've had any really bad ones either... just no good ones to speak of... which I suppose is to be expected since up until this point my trips to the area always included evil aunts, step-moms of the equine variety, NSYNC and Britney Spears.) So this took some definite help from brave!tk. Anyway, I digress. By the time I arrived Friday was technically over. Let's move on to Saturday.

Saturday morning (if you can call it that, it was still dark outside...) led us to Denny's. Yes, they have them there. They're a lot like the ones they have here, and actually if you're comparing with the Denny's in Pismo or Atascadero, this one actually had fewer meth-heads and less visible bullet damage, so that was cool. I had a toasted english muffin with jam and a dry (but still pretty good) slice of honey ham. He had pancakes. Not this kind of pancakes, but close.

He also had bacon, but don't tell anybody, 'cause I hear he's not supposed to eat pig. Anyway, moving on.

After Denny's was sleep. I swear, I never sleep that well. There's a reason for that. Saturday afternoon led to a pleasant walk, some shopping around in an awesome used book store, and lunch at this really peculiar cafe... thing. I can't remember what it was called but the name had something to do with Hot Wings, and the decor... well, it had something to do with everything. It was almost like Marty's hooked up with 2 Dogs Cafe and their illegitimate love child was this place. The food was good, the help was weird, all in all I enjoyed it.

After some more sleeping (really, I know.) it became time to go out and about for the evening. Yes it was dark again. So we headed out to meet up with some of his friends at this bar called the Cha Cha. Now stick with me here. This place was probably one of the most highly decorated environments I've ever been in. Imagine a super discount sale at a craft store. Imagine one for every holiday. Imagine that all of the things at these super discount sales managed to find themselves in the same room, at the same time, in some great mood lighting. You're there, what do you think?

So we had drinks and I got to meet his friends. We actually had a few drinks including some new one I'd never tried before. It was good, I wrote down what's in it and what it's called but my book is somewhere else... so you'll have to go out drinking with me sometime if you want to try it. No excuses. So while we were sitting there I got to test his hunter/gatherer skills. He failed to produce sustainance in the form of a spanish olive I wanted, even with a swiss-army-knife-sharpened spear (ok so it was a bar-straw stirrer stick thing, not an actual spear.) So he'll have to work on that for next time. So after this, we left the Cha Cha and headed to Hollywood for some fun with billiards. I knew I had good reason to fear LA. When we got to this place, there was already a bomb inside!

It was scary and had wires and flashy lights... Really, I was terrified.

So bombs aside, we played pool, I won on a technicality three times, and then lost on the same technicality so it was fair. I never win by skill anyway. It was fun and I enjoyed hanging out with everyone. Then after the Hollywood billiards challenge was over, we headed in for the night after a quick stop at 7-11 for juice and junk food. We ended up watching most of Pulp Fiction (I think I caught the beginning) and then like the Honda, I had to crash, baby. (No offense Monica, I swear I'm not talking aboot you or Cordelia.)

Sunday came too soon. I can't even describe what I felt when it was time to leave. I have an image in my mind and I'll have to paint it and post it and maybe then you can get some inkling of an idea of how hard it was for me to leave. More on that later.

I think I need some serious art time tonight.

So, who has fun plans for this weekend? Let's hear 'em.

Currently listening: Infinity on High - Deluxe Limited Edition By Fall Out Boy Release date: 06 February, 2007

I've got birds in my ear and a devil on my shoulder.

Well. I finally made it home. Do you know how hard it is to drive for hours in one direction when every scrap of your mind and body didn't want to leave in the first place? It's like every chance you get to turn around you have to fight with yourself to keep going. Anyway, I made it home after several stops on the way, and all things considered, this past weekend was without a doubt the best weekend I've had in ages. I can't remember the last time I had such a great time.

I should warn you all before I continue.

Whenever I have a lot of time by myself (driving, using the machines at the gym, lying in bed at night trying to get some sleep...) I always end up thinking myself in circles and the only way I seem to be able to fix my dizzy brain is by unloading in my blog. So, as is the tradition, what follows may not make sense, and you have my apologies if this turns out to be the case.

So, after the events of this past week and weekend I find my mind at odds with my heart. It's strange to me that I can make this clear distinction between my emotions and my sense of logic, and that the two forces always seem to be engaged in a cage match to the death when good things happen to me. Why can't they just get along?

Somehow, my train has managed to become derailed again. Not to quote myself, but once I mentioned something along these lines before. As soon as you think you've got things figured out and under control, that's the opportune time for something you never would have expected to come along and completely throw you off your 'track.'

I've got birds in my ear and a devil on my shoulder. The song said it, and I'm feeling it now. I have this voice. She lives in this tiny little corner of my mind, and her only job is to chime in whenever I decide to go with my instincts and feelings before weighing things out in a cold and logical manner. She's sort of an icy bitch, this voice. I know she means well, she's just trying to make sure I don't leave myself wide open begging to get hurt again. Sometimes it's just hard to make her shut up.

So right now it's this: technicalities. I get all hung up on language and labels and technicalities. One part of me thinks it's all bullshit. I should go with what I'm feeling and fuck it all if it's too fast or can't be explained by logic. That's not how emotion works. I should just go with what I feel even if that little voice is telling me I should hold back and keep my armor up. Then she breaks through. She calls me impulsive, careless, irresponsible. How could I let myself get tangled up again? This will all lead to pain if I don't listen to her. So I listen. I weigh it. I ponder and query and wonder, I talk myself in circles.

And the verdict, you ask?

I feel. I have to trust what I feel. In order to be truly happy, you have to take risks of the heart. If I leave my heart locked in a box, it'll be safe, but it won't be happy. So I don't have enough words for what I feel. That's not really my fault, I'll blame it on the inadequacies of the English language. From now on, if I feel it, I plan on saying so. If that scares people (or the icy queen of logic in my brain), then so be it. At least it'll be sincere and honest, and that's what makes it real.

Currently listening: Paint the Sky with Stars: The Best of Enya By Enya Release date: 11 November, 1997

Rawr!

Rawr! I'm in an incredibly feisty mood tonight. This is probably due to a few factors, such as a) the rain outside b) the stiff drink I just poured c) the day I had today d) the weekend I had this weekend… I feel like it's time for some rambling, so read at your own risk, I have no control over what may choose to burst forth while I'm in this sort of state of mind.

Where shall we start? I bought the new FOB album today with the last cash on my credit card because I couldn't take it anymore, I really wanted to hear it and I needed some sort of substitute comfort, since I can't have the comfort I want. It's really good (if you like FOB) and I absolutely can not contain myself when that song "Arms Race" is on. They come up with some witty lyrics and I always get caught up in the music more and more because of what they have to say. "Blood cells pixelate, and eyes dilate…"

Now where the hell is my camera? Hang on, I know it's around here somewhere…

Found it! So I walked outside after work today to see this:

It was really raining! That perfect sort of rain, where everything is damp but the air is crisp and clear and the rain is so gentle... I didn't want to get in my car and drive away, but alas, I had to get to Best Buy!

What else can I jabber about? Oh! Right! I've been meaning to post this, and it's been on my gtalk message for a few weeks now but, whatever, I'm sure some of you are like me and rarely follow those links, plus I think I'm going to change it back to my old Sugarcult message tonight (and probably something else tomorrow) so here goes... I found this article about snakes so I must share.

Snakes help soothe the joints at spa
Fri Jan 26, 2007 10:02am ET

TALMEY EL'AZAR, Israel, Jan 25 (Reuters Life!) - Hold the Dead Sea salts and tea-tree oil. An Israeli health and beauty spa has introduced a new treatment to its menu -- snake massage.

For 300 shekels ($70), clients at Ada Barak's spa in northern Israel can add a wild twist to their treatment by having six non-venomous but very lively serpents slither and hiss a path across their aching muscles and stiff joints.

"I'm actually afraid of snakes, but the therapeutic effects are really good," customer Liz Cohen told Reuters Television as Barak let the snakes loose on her body.

Barak uses California and Florida king snakes, corn snakes and milk snakes in her treatments, which she said were inspired by her belief that once people get over any initial misgivings, they find physical contact with the creatures to be soothing.

© Reuters 2007. All Rights Reserved.

On that note, here's a more recent picture of Dharma:

We were watching tv the other day and she totally had her poker-face on. This picture more accurately shows her color. Isn't she prettyful? She's not quite ready to manage the snake spa yet, but maybe someday.

On another note, on my way home I was thinking about my general state of mind and sanity lately. I think I realized that once you feel like you've reached the bottom, there's nowhere to go but up. (Well unless you've got a mighty shovel I guess...) I think I nearly reached a bottom of sorts, and today (due to some seemingly serendipitous events this weekend) I feel like I'm on the way back up. Hopefully my depressing rambling of the other day will be the last for a while. Well... actually I have a new reason to feel bummed out but honestly... that's a totally different (and not actually bad at all) thing.

And with that... we move on. Valentines day is next week. I found some super cute Valentines day cards my mom gave me years ago that have Badtz Maru on them, and I think I may actually hand them out this year. Also, I plan on having something special delivered to my Valentine, Susie Help Desk, (I can't tell you what cause she reads the blog sometimes, but I can tell you the image in my head is FABOO!) but I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to have it delivered yet. We swapped addresses today so I'm totally prepared but I may still have to call in some favors...

Currently listening: Infinity on High - Deluxe Limited Edition By Fall Out Boy
Release date: 06 February, 2007

Oh space heater, how I love thee

Once again, it's Monday morning and about 12 degrees in the office.

Now Monday on the other hand, I hate Monday. Didn't used to, don't always, but lately, I really feel the hate for Monday. Then again, if it wasn't for Monday, I'd probably be a lot worse off than I am now. Mondays remind you that you have a life full of static responsibilities, kind of the same way a headache reminds you that you do indeed have a brain.

I feel the urge lately (over the last month or so) to get back in touch with life in a way I haven't attempted in years. I feel the urge to plant things and watch them grow. I don't know what spawned this desire because honestly, I haven't had any plant life to call my own (other than my desk bamboo friend, and really he belongs to the treehorse) since I still lived with my mom. Maybe that's it. I used to grow roses, fruits and vegetables... Once I even had my own herb garden. Nothing compares to cooking with fresh produce, herbs and spices that grew by your own efforts. (Oddly enough, I think the same may not be true when it comes to livestock and poultry...)

So according to my daily planner, this Thursday and Friday are good days for planting things. I think I'll head to Home Depot on Thursday night and see what I can find in the way of a nice window-box for inside my room, some potting soil and some seeds. Also, Jaime gave me permission to plant a garden outside my window so maybe I'll put in some veggies and roses when it's a little less wintry outside. So far I'm thinking for outside it'd be nice to grow a few varieties of squash, maybe some sort of melon, cucumbers, radishes, green onions, and possibly a selection of peppers. I need to remember to look into getting my hands on some Stevia seeds/plants too. What else should I attempt to grow? Any suggestions? Requests?

Also, I need to make a shopping list for Friday. I go through these periods of having no money and then I tend to get a little carried away when I do have money, and that's not good for anybody.

I need to make an appointment to bring The Mistress in for a checkup, since her check engine indicator has been on and off and on again every few days for a while now, and she's been doing this odd "I don't feel like idling" thing sometimes instead of starting up properly.

Another thing on my mind lately: Burning Man. (Of course, this actually rarely leaves my mind these days, which I've been told is how it SHOULD be anyway so I'm not too concerned.) I've been thinking about the gift idea I had and how I can improve it so that it's more playa-friendly. My original idea was something made from handmade paper (like a card or something folded fancy origami style) which contained flower seeds. This way the paper can be planted later on, and some fun flowers of my choosing will grow as a result.

I read somewhere that it's important to note that most participants of Burning Man are humans, not marsupials, and many of them prefer nudity to clothing while on the playa. This led me to the realization that handing out something that would require a pocket or pouch of some sort to carry would probably not be that great of an idea. So, my new idea, was to woodburn something neat on some wooden shapes, attach them to a cotton cord (like necklace stylie) and attach a similarly shaped flower-seed paper to the cord behind the wooden pendant. This way, it looks cool, and when said pendant arrives in the real world later on, the paper can be detached and planted to produce those flowers I mentioned before. I think it's a better idea, but now I have to come up with some ideas for the pendants... Your thoughts?

And in conclusion, I had this for lunch today:

My fortune cookie said "A merry heart does good like a medicine." Strangely, I think I've heard something similar to that rather recently.

Now, where's my dessert, I wonder?

Currently listening: Let Love In By The Goo Goo Dolls Release date: 25 April, 2006