Saturday, July 28, 2007

The Happiest Place on Earth

Now I think I know what a few of you are going to say in response to this but until I'm able to verify things for myself, these are my views, and I'm entitled to them. (I am also entitled to this space which I will use to spout them freely.)

You know those commercials. Everybody knows those commercials. The ones where Clint Eastwood and Arnold Governator get on TV and tell you how great California is, and then an ancient and leather-like Terri Hatcher pops up with Mickey and Minnie and you can't help but remember that the happiest place on earth is supposedly full of mice and costs $100 to get into for a day.

These commercials make me wonder about things. First of all, after all the crap I've heard about Clint Eastwood and his motivation for mayor-ness having to do with some vanity sign he wanted, Arnold Governator with his horrific slur of "San Looeeeeobippo" after the earthquake, and... well Terri Hatcher just looks like a mess (probably from all the botox or whatever she's done to herself), I don't know if she is one... After all that, I'm just not sure I can trust the opinions of a bunch of rag-tag freaks when it comes to the best place to live/visit/become mayor/governor of/get botox in. In my opinion, after the other states I've lived in and visited, California is definitely the one I want to live in. I'd still consider Washington, but I'd have to be in or near Seattle and the Canadian border to even let that thought cross my mind.

Secondly, this "happiest place on Earth" bullshit... If somebody really did discover what it was that made a place the happiest place on this entire chunk of space-debris, I highly doubt that it would have anything to do with plague rats wearing white gloves and suspenders. As I discovered recently, the things I tend to get the most joy from are all in one place. Can you guess where that place is?

No, Scott, it's not VREO. I love my job. I really really really really do love my job, but it's not the place I'd choose to be if I had oodles of free time and no obligations.

I know Celeste, I'm sure I'll be saying that in about a month too, but I haven't been there yet so no that can't be my answer either.

Monica, I've never even been to Alaska, or Germany.

And don't even suggest the F&P Heather, you know better.

Anyway, it's my room.

I noticed that the only thing I want to do most of the time when I get off of work, is go home so I can get back to my little safe area. Nothing seems to deter me from this either. For example, this week several days I've had plans after work. Even though the stuff I have planned is fun, the whole time I'm thinking "Can I go home yet? I just want to be home." Not that I don't have fun while I'm out, but it's like this weird calling in my little heart somewhere that just wants to be back in my room.

Yesterday I sat on my bed and sewed myself a pair of the awesomest shorts anybody's ever seen. The whole time I was awkwardly sitting on my bed working the foot pedal of my sewing machine at times with my knee, and even though it was a strange thing to be doing, and a strange way to be doing it, I was having a blast. Today I had the freedom of spending money on things I need for Burning Man, and I didn't even want to do it, I just wanted to go home and sew more stuff.

Nearly everything I find joy in is here. My computer which connects me to so many of my friends, my strangely alert and entertaining slithery first mate Dharma, my oddly random music collection, more books than the Santa Maria Public Library could house in their children's room, all of my random knick-knacks. Every possession that I adore, I can find here.

The strange thing is, as I grow as a person, I realize how little all these possessions are truly worth. I'd burn it all in a heartbeat for the safety of any one of my close friends. So I find this interesting mix of joy and embarrassment for feeling this way about material things. I seriously love my stuff. My stuff makes me really happy and well adjusted. I think the difference between what I am and what the spoiled, materialistic people who I despise are is found in that tiny speck of embarrassment, but somehow that's all it takes. Then again, no one person can round me out as quickly as an hour spent with my nose tucked in a book, or with my eyes closed and the right music blasting on my stereo.

Does this mean that in order to be happy and well adjusted I need to have a ton of stuff? Maybe not. The more I think about it the more I think this means that I use these things to make myself feel better, so maybe it's not all the stuff, maybe it's just me. So in that case, does that make the inside of my head the happiest place on earth?

For me, I think the answer there is yes.

No, you can't get in for a day with $100. Ok well, maybe if you're really really cute...


Currently listening: My Brother's Blood Machine By The Prize Fighter Inferno
Release date: 31 October, 2006

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Eat Up, Drink Up, Dress Up, Grow Up

How many things I've wanted to say. I've tried and it always comes out wrong. I feel like I'm going through this learning/adjusting/growing phase and it's really hard for me to know what to expect from myself. Lately it's just been a lot of surprises.

For example:

I've learned that I am in the midst of this strange adjustment period between being a "grown up" and being a "kid" (I use the "" because I don't feel like these are the right terms but it's the best I can come up with right now.)

I have this conversation with Scott all the time and it never ceases to surprise and delight me when I notice the things I do that make it true. I call it the "Eat Up, Drink Up, Dress Up, Grow Up" phenomenon.

Eat Up...

When you're young, you have this different approach and outlook on life. These are the things I've noticed, but it may not be true for everyone. I remember a time when I had first moved out on my own (with roommates) and all I ate was fast food and top ramen, in the form of shrimp flavored cuppa-noodles. I remember days when I would actually decide that Le MacDo or BK Lounge sounded good for lunch.

Ask me now when the last time I tasted top ramen was. I wouldn't be able to give you an answer. Ask me what I want for lunch; I will never suggest fast food. (Not even when I'm feeling lazy, or out of town. I don't even consider that stuff food anymore. It's weird.)

Drink Up...

When I became old enough to drink I was in a place in my life where "peer pressure" made drinking kind of unacceptable. I always kind of figured that was fine, who needs alcohol anyway right? While that may be true (and I know plenty of people who don't drink, and I don't really drink all that often myself these days) I've found recently that I do enjoy having a drink with meals once in a while, as much as I enjoy getting completely sloshed with friends once in a while, but in a different way. So if I want a damned mimosa with breakfast, I'll have it. It brings a whole new shade to morning orange juice, and I love it. I think an 18 year old me would have totally called 25 year old me a lush. 25 year old me would have stuck my tongue out at 18 year old me and ordered another mimosa just to spite her.

Dress Up...

I used to work in an environment where you weren't allowed to show up for work without socks on. You couldn't wear jeans if it wasn't Friday. T-shirts were completely unacceptable attire at all times. So I dressed up. Every day I dressed up. I hated dressing up.

Now that I've worked for several years in several places where "business casual" means t-shirt and jeans at work is fine, I dress up for fun sometimes. It's the oddest thing. I miss days when Celeste and I would have random dress-up day. It just doesn't feel the same when I'm required to dress up as it does when I do it for fun because I want to. The oddest thing is, I'll complain when I have to dress up for an interview on Monday, and then dress up on Thursday for no reason, because I want to. I can't explain it.

Grow Up...

Does all of this mean that I need to start acting like a grown up? What does a grown up act like anyway? Does it mean that if I want to eat caviar I need to stop serving myself on paper plates in front of my computer screen? Does it mean that I need to give up getting sloshed once in a while with friends, and limit my alcohol intake to mealtimes like a grown up? Does it mean that I should enjoy dressing up every day at work because I'm at work?

As far as I can tell, I should just act like I want to act, do what I want to do, and as long as I'm not hurting anyone, it shouldn't matter. I suppose being a grown up is relative anyway. Caviar and WoW it is, and bring me another mimosa, or twelve.

Currently listening: Frogstomp By Silverchair
Release date: 20 June, 1995

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Box of Moonlight, or Souls, or Joy

After breakfast this morning I decided to get a little shopping done. Only a little, as I just needed to pick up some hair junk and a case for my new... uh... accessories. I was wandering around CVS and a box of something silly caught my attention. This led me to the realization that I know a handful of people who might get some joy out of what is in this box, but I bet not one of them would ever think to buy it for themselves, let alone wander into a CVS looking for it.

Now, obviously, I enjoy sending things to people for fun. Presents for no reason at all other than the fact that I adore these people and they deserve to see some loving sometimes. So I decided I'm going to try to send out a box of something to someone once every month.

THIS PAGE IS YOUR APPLICATION TO RECEIVE A BOX OF FUNTIMES.

Please answer the following questions and also include any additional random information you think will convince me that you should be next to receive a box of fun from me.

1. Do you like tea/coffee? If so what kinds are your favorite?
2. Same questions as above, only alcohol. (Not beer.)
3. How do you feel about monkeys?
4. What about things that glow?
5. If tacks were snacks what would they be made out of?
6. Do you like candy?
7. What are your thoughts on underpants?
8. How do you feel about gnomes?
9. What are you getting me for my birthday/christmas? (Just kidding, I like surprises better.)

Anyway, feel free to respond via comment or message. Response does not guarantee prizes. Also, if I don't have your address, you should give it to me if you expect me to determine that you deserve prizes.

That is all.

Currently listening: As Tall as Lions By As Tall as Lions
Release date: 08 August, 2006

Monday, July 2, 2007

The Drunken Strategist

Your answers suggest you are a Strategist

The four aspects that make up this personality type are:

Spontaneous, Ideas, Heads and Introvert

Summary of Strategists

  • Quiet, easy-going and intellectually curious
  • Use logical, objective thinking to find original solutions to problems
  • Think of themselves as bright, logical and individualistic
  • May be impractical, forgetting practical issues, such as paying bills or doing the shopping

More about Strategists

Strategists are quiet people who like to get to the heart of tough problems on their own and come up with innovative solutions. They analyse situations with a sceptical eye and develop ways of measuring everything, including themselves.

Strategists are generally easy-going. They are intellectually curious and enjoy abstract ideas. Sometimes they like thinking of a solution to a problem more than taking practical steps to solve it.

In situations where they can't use their talents, are unappreciated, or not taken seriously, Strategists may become negatively critical or sarcastic. Under extreme stress, Strategists could be prone to inappropriate, tearful or angry outbursts.

Strategists may be insensitive to the emotional needs of others or how their behaviour impacts the people around them.

Strategist Careers

Strategists are often drawn to technical or scientific careers, where specialist knowledge is required. They also seem to enjoy jobs that involve long-term planning, abstract thinking or design.

Also, Scott sent me this today, and it's entirely true:

SCORPIO Drinking style - Don't ever tell Scorpios they've had enough, for they'll smirk at you and quietly but intentionally keep tippling till they're hog-whimpering drunk, out of 100-proof spite. Scorpios like to drink, and screw you if you have a problem with that. Most of them see the sauce as something to savor in itself, and not as a personality-altering tool -- though if depressed, self-loathing Scorps seek total obliteration. But generally, they're fascinating drinking pals, brilliant conversationalists and dizzying flirts. They also remember everything -- especially what you did when you were blitzed. Only drink with a Scorpio who likes you.


Currently listening:
Short Bus
By Filter
Release date: 25 April, 1995

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